Our bodies are so vulnerable

How easy do our lives get turned upside down? Sure, there’s tragedies like losing your job or a loved one, but when a simple little thing ends up in serious bodily harm, that’s when we realise just how feeble life is.

Last year, I was putting out my recycling bin and broke my toe. How sad is that? You see, our front yard is on a pretty drastic slope and the road is on a significant perpendicular slope. When I tried to maneuvre the rubbish bin, it over-balanced. I put my foot out to balance myself and it clipped the edge of the gutter and rolled.

The pain was excrutiating. The injury is known as a Jones Fracture and is most common in basketball players. My break was one of the more intense versions of the fracture and required surgery. I had to have two tension bands inserted into my foot to hold the toe back in place AND have a wire inserted.

I needed six weeks off work and spent about the first five of that on crutches, finally graduating to a walking stick for another four or five weeks.

Following the surgery, I had a hard lump on the side of my foot which meant I had to get larger boots for work, and it meant that I couldn’t sit in any position that had the outside of my right foot against the floor – like sitting cross-legged (when playing with my kids). Having pressure against the side of my foot caused the wire inside my foot to move, poking from INSIDE my foot. Ouch!

That was almost a year ago, and last week I had the wire removed. The site has been healing quite quickly and only 6 days after surgery, I can walk short distances on it already. I now have two weeks off work, plus there’ll be a period of sedentary duties, followed by a lengthy return to fitness program.

And it all happened SO easily and SO quickly. The last year of my life had turned upside down in a fraction of a second. I don’t think I’ll ever forget laying on the road in absolute agony, unable to get up or even to call out for help.

And my Stepfather has recently realised how quickly things can go badly. Yesterday was his 65th birthday, and he spent it in hospital. Just recently, he and my mother built a house, and after they moved in they were making finishing touches and doing a few things here and there.

My Stepfather hurt his back and like most of us do, he figured he just lifted something wrong and that it would fix itself after a few days. But it didn’t. And it got worse. After a few days, he was still not able to stand up, have a shower, or walk anywhere. He spent about two days on his knees at home, unable to do a damn thing.

So my mum called an ambulance and off he went to hospital. Initially, he was diagnosed with a bulging disk in his spine and sent home with some pain killers and told to rest. But after a few days, it wasn’t getting better. He was back on his knees, and couldn’t even manage to get to the radiologist to have a scan done.

So mum helped him get there, and even then she had to help him get into the room for the scan. After the scan, he still couldn’t walk himself to the car and ended up in excrutiating pain once more, so an ambulance was called again and off he went to another hospital. This time they worked out that he had a slipped disk, and was admitted immediately.

He is currently undergoing pain relief and rest, which is the base treatment for this injury. If it doesn’t resolve itself after about 5 days, they will try giving him injections near the injury site. And if THAT doesn’t work, they have to consider surgery.

So once again, his life has been turned upside down after a simple little accident. He could be facing a long, drawn-out period of treatment, followed by easing back into his normal lifestyle. It’s amazing just how quickly everything can change.

So what about you? Have you had an injury turn your life upside down in the blink of an eye? Tell me about it!

Food for thought

I read a news article today that got me thinking along radical lines. The article stated that NSW has implemented a law (apparantly already in practice in QLD) that when witnessing someone’s signature, there is now a legal requirement to confirm the identity of the person.

All this came about due to an incident in 2011 where a policeman pulled over a muslim woman wearing a burkha. Some kind of incident ensued and the woman accused the policeman of racism. At some point, the woman was required to sign a document, but when it came to the court case, the police couldn’t confirm who it was that signed the document – because the woman never revealed her face.

And all that got me thinking – as it usually does.

We’re always hearing about the muslims, and how they seem to think that they’re not subject to Australian law, because they have their own (Sharia Law). So, I thinks to meself, if the muslims want to behave like muslims, why don’t we let them behave like muslims?

So that means women can’t drive. They can’t vote. They can’t go to school. And they can’t go outdoors unless they’re escorted by a male. They’re not allowed to eat at the same time as the men – nor in the same room. When they “misbehave”, they’re allowed to be beaten or stoned (to death in the worst cases).

Would that make the muslims happy do you think? Here I was thinking that they came to Australia to ESCAPE that kind of life in their own countries, yet when they get here, they argue that our law isn’t applicable to them.

I get sick of people coming to Australia “for a better life” but then expecting to be able to behave in the same way as when they were in their own country. If you come to Australia, you live by Australian law – or get the hell out.

Should I change?

I’ve been thinking about my blog lately, or more specifically, about Lego. I’ve done a couple of Lego posts in the past, but this time IREALLY thought about it.

I am 100% unimpressed with the sale of Lego in Australia. If you’re a fellow Aussie, then I’m sure you’ll agree with me with the same 100%.  So what I’ve been thinking about is: should I make Grumpyaussie about Lego? I’ve found a few other Lego posts that have helped me save a small fortune on Lego, and I want to share that information with you.

To whet your appetite, I have recently purchased the red, Lego passenger train for my son’s birthday (ssssh, don’t tell him!) and paid about half the Australian retail price for it. On top of that, I’ve had to pass on opportunities to save MORE than 50% on other sets.

So here it is: Should I change from being grumpy about EVERYTHING and focus and on being grumpy about Lego? Hahaha, you know what I mean. I’m a 38 year old Lego addict. They call us AFOLs (Adult Fan Of Lego).

So if you want to hear about ways to save you a fortune on Lego, and get some heads up on the latest sales, leave a comment. Who knows, it could be YOUR comment that convinces me to change.

Let me at ‘em

This post contains a vast amount of profanity. Read on at your discretion.

Funny how things go, isn’t it. I had to reboot my laptop today and when it restarted, it brought up the Yahoo homepage for me so I could log into my e-mail. Yahoo shows some news headlines, and one in particular caught my eye:

Girl allegedly run to death had a tumultuous life

In a nutshell, a nine year old girl from Alabama who lied about some candy that she ate was made to run by her grandmother. She ran for three hours while her stepmother also watched on and did nothing. Eventually, the poor girl collapsed and died.

In my most sarcastic voice, I exclaimed “Yay legal system. The grandmother and stepmother are being charged with murder”.

And as I read that story, I came across this story as well:

Boy ‘punished for wetting bed’ dies of dehydration

In this story, a 10 year old boy from Dallas who wet his bed, was punished by his parents who denied him water for 5 fucking days. He eventually died when he got peanut butter stuck in his throat, his parents refused to let him have water to wash it down, and his brothers were too scared to help in case THEY got a similar punishment.

He choked on the peanut butter, fell down and hit his head on the floor. And the parents are being charged with “bodily harm”, not with killing their son.

So as the title says, let me at ‘em. These people are the lowest fucking form of scum on the planet. They pick on their kids because they are fucking cowards who get no respect from other adults. They’re usually poorly educated people who focus their life on drugs or alcohol and don’t care about their families.

I’d like to say: give me five minutes with these arseholes, but the reality is that I’d need longer that. Putting a bullet in their head wouldn’t satisfy me one little bit. I’d need a good five DAYS with these people to show THEM what punishment and torture is all about. I know that there are plenty of things I could do to these people to have them BEGGING for a bullet in the head.

If you want some ideas of what I’d do to these fuckers, then by all means leave me a comment, but if you’ve seen any horror movies in the last 10 years, then just use your imagination. If you’re pathetic enough to torture a child, then you deserve worse done to yourself.

So let that be a warning to you fucking scum out there. If anyone ever hurt my kids, then I’d make the torture scenes in Hostel look like a quick, merciful death. I have no problem going to prison, especially if it’s for exacting revenge on some arsehole who touched my kids.

I’ve always believed that the law is supposed to represent the values of society. But they don’t, do they? Our bullshit legal system, presided over by our pathetic excuse for judges, let child molesters out of prison and think that sending someone away for five years for killing someone while being drunk behind the wheel is justice.

If the legal system ever failed me, and I mean EVER, then I have absolutely no hesitation in taking matters into my own hands. And as I’ve hinted at above, you’d wish you were dealt with by a court, rather than being dealt with by me. And not just for hurting MY kids, either. If you’re out walking the streets, after beating some kind of offence for harming a child, you’re on my list.

I’m an AFOL

That’s right, I’m finally prepared to come out of the closet and announce to the world that I’m an AFOL. If you’ve never heard that term before, it stands for Adult Fan Of Lego. I’m thirty-mmblblglbg, and I’m an AFOL.

But my problem is that I live in Australia, where it’s cheaper to buy a car than a new Lego set. If you don’t believe me, jump onto www.lego.com and change your region to Australia. Suddenly, sets that cost you $100 in the USA can hit as high as $200 in Australia. And then you have to add around $40 delivery. $240 for a $100 set? I don’t think so.

I’ve been playing with Lego for almost 35 years I’d guess. I remember saving up my pocket money to buy a new set and would spend hours putting it together and playing with it. As the years have gone on, I have my own kids who love Lego as well. So I buy sets for them and we play together.

I’m a member of the Lego club on their official website. I’m also a VIP member. Now, I save up my pocket money and buy the bigger, more intricate sets. But of course, they cost a fortune. The big Death Star that was released in 2011 is $699 on the Lego website. BUT, I now have my fairy godmother.

Amazon is the most amazing shopping website on the planet, if you’re an Aussie looking for cheap Lego. And not just good ol’ amazon.com either. I recently found a blog from an Aussie mum, where she has been posting info about Lego deals and places to buy cheap Lego. Sadly, these blogs are more important than oxygen in Australia.

I’d used amazon.com before and found some great prices on great sets. But the problem is always delivery cost, and the fact that a lot of stores on amazon.com don’t ship the big sets to Australia. And that’s annoying, because that’s where the big savings are.

For instance, I mentioned that the Death Star set (10188) is $699 on Lego’s website – and that doesn’t include delivery. But if I go through amazon.com, I can get it for $399 – but they won’t ship it to Australia – which is frustrating. When you save $300 on a single set, it’s worth paying almost $100 to get it delivered. After all, I’d still have $200 in my pocket to buy something else.

For instance the Imperial Shuttle set (10212). It retails on Lego’s website for $449, but is available through amazon.com for under $220. So to buy both of those sets in Australia would set me back OVER $1,000. Can you believe that shit? Yet I can get them from amazon.com for $620. So even if I paid $300 delivery, I’d still be saving money! But again, the problem is amazon.com won’t ship those two sets to Australia.

Enter amazon France (www.amazon.fr). I can get those two sets for $451 and $317 respectively. Slightly more than the US site, but still around $250 cheaper than Australia. I should point out that they won’t deliver the Shuttle to Australia, but they WILL deliver the Death Star for around $560 delivered. A saving of $140, which buys a second, decent sized set.

I’ve recently scoured amazon.fr and found some prices that can only be described as ludicrous. The red train set (7938) sells here for around $240, but I have bought it from amazon.fr for around $120 delivered. I also bought the Tie Fighter set (9492) – selling for $90 in Australia, or around $60 delivered from amazon.fr.

So if you’re an AFOL like me – or just an Aussie fed up with paying abhorent prices for Lego, get yourself onto amazon US and France NOW and bag yourself some bargains.

Incidentally, I e-mailled Lego a while back, having a bit of a dig at them for their pathetic prices here in Australia. They replied to me quite quickly, blaming their high prices on the cost of doing business in Australia. And sadly, I can’t argue with that. I know that it costs a fortune to send large shipments out here, and our minimum wage is so high you can actually make a career out of being a waiter or a service station attendant.

But if I can get a set delivered through amazon.fr for $20, why does buying it from Lego.com double the price? It still doesn’t make sense, and it still doesn’t make it easy for Australians to get their hands on some quality presents for their kids.

So I’m going to ask you to do a couple of things for me:

1: STOP buying Lego at retail stores in Australia. Prices are dictated by demand, so if we reduce the demand, the prices will go down;

2: START looking at amazon US and France. You really will be surprised at how cheap everything is; and

3: Leave a comment telling me what you think of our Lego prices in Australia, and if you buy something from amazon, come back and leave a message telling me what set/s you bought and how much you saved.

Wait, what?

When was the last time something caught you off-guard? I don’t mean checking your gas bill and finding that you’re paying a fortune. I mean when you saw or heard something that made you go “Wait. What the f**k was that?”

Well recently, I’ve had two such occasions. And I think they’ll surprise you, too. The first one is the movie Grease. It’s a classic movie, loved by many generations. Many people didn’t know this, but it was a Broadway stage show before it became a movie. Look it up on IMDB and read the trivia. Some of the facts will amaze you.

We watched it the other night, and what I discovered was shocking. I’m surprised that Grease only has a PG rating, because to be honest, I think it needs to be M. Some of the language both in the songs and general conversation is nothing short of “adult”. And if you read the trivia, you’ll see there are even more R rated references to the stage show (which was more risque than the movie) and to sex in general.

Case in point is when John Travolta is singing the Greased Lightning song and rubs saran wrap (glad wrap if you’re an Aussie) against his crotch.

But the second instance of “Wait. What?” occurred today on the way home from work. My iPhone automatically connects to my car so I can play my music instead of listening to the crap that passes as radio these days.

I was skipping through some of the superfluous rubbish on my phone, when an old Johnny Cash song came on. I like a lot of Johnny’s music, and if you haven’t seen Walk the Line, do yourself a favour and get it. It’s the story of Johnny’s life and it’s a movie with a great soundtrack and great insight into life back then. And even more amazingly, Joaquin Phoenix who plays Johhny actually does a better job with some of the songs.

But I digress. So this Johnny Cash song comes on and it’s got a pretty catchy tune, and I find myself wanting to sing along. And then the “chorus” comes on. And I quote…….

America for white. Africa for Black; Send those apes back to the trees. Ship those niggers back.

Amazing right? You can understand my “Wait. What?” moment. And the song only get’s worse. Lyrics such as:

Ring that bell. Shout for joy. White man’s day is here; Hand that chimp his ugly stick. Hand that buck his spear.

I was dumbfounded. Gobsmacked. Bewildered. Strangely, nobody has covered “Ship those niggers back” since Johnny’s passing. Go figure.

So tell me: when have you had such an intense “Wait. What?” moment??

Ripped off by car salesmen

I’ve noticed recently that in Brisbane, our car yards are ripping us off. I’m not 100% sure how they’re getting away with it, but what they’re doing is selling cars that don’t have indicators.

This could just be a fad though. I originally noticed that it was Mercedes Benz who seemed to start this new craze, but lately its spread to a whole range of manufacturers.

Which actually just caused me to realise that I need to apologise to a LOT of Brisbane drivers. You see, I was thinking that our drivers were either lazy, inconsiderate or just pushing their luck, because there are a LOT of drivers here who don’t indicate.

So if you’re one of those people, than PLEASE, accept my sincere apology for ragging on you, when it wasn’t your fault after all.

So back to my original storyline: Why aren’t these car dealers being held accountable? What’s up Ford, Holden, Mazda, Honda, Mercedes Benz, BMW, Hyundai and Kia? You all charge a small fortune for your cars, so I think we all deserve a couple of “throw-ins”, don’t you?

We already get a free stereo, spare tyre and power windows (if you think they’re NOT free, try ordering a car WITHOUT power windows!) I’m sure our brake lights and headlights are thrown in, so I think it’s about time you starting giving us free indicators.

I’m not exactly sure when this fad started, but I bought my car in 2010 and luckily, it came with indicators. Just to be sure though, I use them at every opportunity, just to make sure they don’t suddenly stop working.

Have you been ripped off? Have you purchased a car either that didn’t include indicators, or had them stop working after a period of time? Well, don’t let them get away with it! Ring them and ask, nay….DEMAND… to receive your free indicators!

Vegetarians

Vegetarians shit me. Not sure if there’s an unintentional pun there or not, but they really do.

Having said that, when my gorgeous Fiance (who is a vego) read that title, I got that look. You know the one. THAT look.

The truth is that it’s not ALL vego’s that shit me. Those, like my Fiance, have a reaction to meat. Depending on how “strong” the meat is, she will suffer anything from stomach nausea to outright vomitting. She can’t even handle eating Asian food with oyster or fish sauce in it. She tells people that she doesn’t eat anything that had a face, ergo she doesn’t eat chicken, fish, clocks or cliffs (hahaha, sorry).

And the reason that a lot of vego’s shit me is that my Fiance HAS to tell people the face thing, because whenever we go out to a restaurant or to a friend’s place, when she says she’s vegetarian, she gets asked “Do you eat chicken? What about fish?”. And why does she get asked that ALL THE BLOODY TIME?

It’s because there are people out there who SAY they are vegetarian, but they really aren’t. There’s a few reasons why they SAY they are. They say it because they object to slaughtering animals for food – and I can respect that. If you ever see an animal get slaughtered, it may very well turn you off. But when push comes to shove, they will eat chicken or fish. Particularly when they go out to eat and see that a HUGE range of restaurants seem to think that a side salad and a bowl of chips is their “vegetarian option”.

And there are people who say it because it’s supposedly “trendy” or “different” to be a vego. “Does the restaurant have a vegetarian menu?”; “Oh, you’re vegetarian?!?!”; “Yes, I think it’s horrible blah, blah, blah…” and it gets the conversation going.

Recently on one of the commercial TV channel cooking shows here in Australia, one of the contestants said she was a vegetarian. But how do you COOK a meat dish without tasting it? Especially if you’re on a show? At home, sure, you can take the chance. But if MY girl went on a show like that, she wouldn’t be able to try the dish before presenting it as her challange entry.

And although I don’t watch the show, I have been told that this pseudo-vego not only tasted her meat dishes, but ATE meat as well. And it’s THOSE vego’s that shit me. Either remove meat from your diet or don’t. It’s that simple. Don’t be one of those a-holes that claims to be a vego, but then chooses meat when it all gets a little bit hard.

The funny thing about my Fiance is that because she is a legitimate vegetarian, she has no problem cooking meat for me, or watching me eat it. But as with most things in life these days, if you’re the person doing the right thing (in this case, being a vego because of an allergy) then you’re subject to the consequences of the dickheads who “pretend” to be.

I get sick of having to “dumb down” my life because of idiots. Like when they reduce the speed limit at roadworks to 40 kph, even though what they are doing doesn’t impede on the lanes, to protect the wankers who can’t drive. But that’s a topic for another post.

Fat People

Yep, I said it. It seems that today, you’re not allowed to call an overweight person fat. But I think we SHOULD call them fat. F**k all this “Be comfortable in your own skin” crap, and ESPECIALLY f**k all the “It’s okay that you’re overweight” bullshit.

If you’ve read my posts before, you’ll know that I’m not one to live with all this PC rubbish in case, God forbid, I tell the truth and hurt someone’s feelings. Now I’ll admit that there are some people with medical conditions that stop them exercising, or which are actually responsible for someone being overweight. But those people are really few and far between, and I for one am sick of lazy slobs trying to blame someone else for their condition.

Fat people are, quite simply, fat. And maybe if they’re told as much, it might motivate (or guilt) them into losing some weight. And it’s not just that they are FAT, but they seem to have an attitude about it as well. Have you ever noticed that when you’re at the shops, and you find yourself walking directly towards a fat person, it’s YOU that has to move?

They never take half a step to the side, do they? Even if they’re standing in a doorway (another of my pet hates), or blocking an aisle. It’s YOUR responsibility to go around THEM. Maybe because they are so fat, they can’t be expected to shift all that bulk 30cm to make life easier for someone else.

I first noticed this phenomenon many years ago, and sadly I’ve grown to live with it (much to my disgust). But today brought their whole bullshit attitude back to the forefront. Why? I’m glad you asked.

Just before Christmas, my youngest son who’s 8, broke his ankle in a freak trampolining accident. So the poor guy has had his foot in a cast for the last few weeks. Luckily, because Westfield are such awesome people, you can borrow a wheelchair for FREE for up to 3 hours when you shop. See where this is going yet?

So today, after a couple of house-bound weeks, we headed off to our local Westfield to stop the cabin fever. We picked up the wheelchair and away we went. Most shoppers are attentive to others, and sympathetic to people with injuries. If you’re on crutches, or limping around, you’ll find that most people will get out of your way, or hold a door for you. But NOT fat people.

And today while I was wheeling my poor son around the shops, in a huge wheelchair with his leg in a bright blue cast, can you guess how many fat people made the effort to get out of our way? I’d like to say “none”, but naturally, after three hours of shopping, we passed a lot of people – some of whom were fat – and most of whom got out of our way.

But of all the people who DIDN’T get out of our way and try to make things a little easier for an 8 year old in a chair, ALL of them were fat. One guy was waiting for his Boost Juice, and managed to block an entire Westfield Walkway by himself. I say Walkway, because I don’t know what you call it. But it’s the part of the shopping mall where everyone walks. You have the little stalls in the middle, but there’s this kind of Walkway thingy between the main shops and these stalls. You know what I mean, right?

So anyway, this guy blocked that entire walkway BY HIMSELF. And when he saw us coming, guess what he did? He turned away and stood his ground. F**king Arsehole. So we all had to change direction and go around HIM. I’m not one to backdown from a fight, but what can you do with these people? If I said something about his size, I’D be the bad guy, wouldn’t I?

Fat people shouldn’t be allowed to shop with normal people, if they’re going to have this kind of attitude. There should be special shopping hours for these people, and they can get in each other’s way as much as they f**king want.  My eldest son (now 11) was stunned when he was pushing the chair and realised just how rude and inconsiderate people can be.

So if you’re fat and you’re reading this, I have two things to say: Come to terms with the fact that you SHOULD be called “fat” – because you are. I shouldn’t have to be the one feeling ashamed for your condition. After all, I can’t fix it. Washing down three pizzas with a diet coke doesn’t work. Eat a carrot.

And the second thing I have to say is: When a young child is coming at you in a wheelchair – GET OUT OF THE F**KING WAY! I see fat people using walkers or in chairs all the time, because they’re too fat to walk under their own steam. Even if it’s not a child in a wheelchair, feel free to take part in getting out someone’s way so that everyone can get on with their lives.

Grumpyaussie Out

Child Support Agency

I know I’ve gone on about this before, but I’ve recently had another run-in with CSA. I’ve been dealing with them for about four years, and I can honestly say that I have never ended a phone call with a smile on my face.

In utter frustration,  I recently sent an email to the Minister of Human Services. My comments centred around the fact that I seem to have no power when it comes to dealing with CSA, my ex-wife or our arrangement. A few days back, I received a call from a guy who has been tasked with preparing a brief for the National Manager of Human Services, so that the Minister can respond to me.

And guess what? He pretty much confirmed that I have no control whatsoever.

Here’s my main gripe. I am currently trying to increase the amount of time our kids spend with me. We all live interstate, so custody is a little difficult. But at the moment, I fall in the 0% care bracket – by 2 nights. I asked if the fact that we live about 500km apart can be taken into consideration, but of course, it can’t.

So I put together a plan to have my kids for an extra three nights per year. I know that sounds easy, but when you live six hours by car from each other, it’s not really feasible to do weekends.

So I contacted CSA and said I wanted to increase how much custody I have of my kids. And here’s the kicker: If my Ex calls and says “He’s having less custody, I need to reduce his care percentage”, they go “No worries, done”.

But if I ring and say “I need to INCREASE my care percentage”, they won’t do it until they contact her and GET HER CONSENT. And if they do agree to increase the percenteage, they make it difficult. My “plan” has to already be in place, but there is no retrospectivity. So I have to prove that my kids WILL stay with me more often, but I can’t have already been doing it so that I can provide evidence.

I have mentioned before that I have told CSA that the amount I pay makes it difficult for me to pay my rent and my bills – and they don’t care. I have literally been told “We aren’t interested in your personal circumstances. Child Support is another bill like Electricity. You just need to find a way to pay”

How unfair is that? Our Government is always talking about people getting in to debt with no way out, yet when you ask for help, you’re told “we don’t care”.

Until a few months ago, I used to pay my Ex-wife directly. But she has managed to get a home loan and needed to have the payments done through CSA so her bank would count the money as income. So I agreed.

I should point out here that I pay fortnightly. Always have. I get paid fortnightly, so I arrange for the Child Support to be deducted the day after payday. That way (along with my rent), it’s always the first payment I make from my salary.

But when we changed to have the money go through CSA, I have to meet a MONTHLY amount. Not a fortnightly amount. So that means that each month, the fortnightly payments I make don’t match the monthly figure. I was advised that if I fall short of the monthly figure, CSA can initiate collection action against me.

So I spoke to them and asked if we could go back to the old ways – where I pay my Ex directly. And guess what? I can’t. But SHE can. Yep, she can ring CSA and say “This isn’t working, I want to change back”, and they go “Yep, no worries.” But if I ring, they have to call her first and GET HER CONSENT.

I even asked if I could hire a lawyer and get a judgement to go back to the old ways, but courts don’t have the power to force CSA to do that.

But while I was talking to this guy the other day, he told me they could put me on a fortnightly payment cycle, instead of monthly. I said “Great, let’s do it”. But he rang me back about half an hour later and said that because the monthly and fortnightly cycle AMOUNTS don’t equate, then to go back to a fortnightly cycle (like I’ve done for the past FOUR YEARS), I have to come up with about $200 to finalise my monthly cycle liability.

I told the guy that I can’t afford to come up with $200 and reminded him that my whole issue is that I can’t afford my bills. I told him that I didn’t understand why I need to pay MORE money to change my payment cycle, when I’ve always paid fortnightly and have never changed the amount I pay.

He tried to explain that it’s not an “extra” $200. I told him I didn’t understand. He said that over the course of the year, I wouldn’t be paying $200 more than normal, that it would all work out in the wash. But I asked him if I need to make an additional payment of $200, and he said “Yes”. So my question was: If I have to pay an EXTRA $200 to keep doing what I’m doing now, how is that NOT extra money? Naturally, he couldn’t answer that.

The other issue is that when I question these processes, and ask where the rights are for the “paying parent” (their politically correct way of saying Father), they tell me “That’s just the way the legislation is written”. I’ve asked if CSA will make private rulings, but of course they stopped doing that.

I understand now why you see Dads climbing bridges and holding up signs, or showing up at the Family Court with a gun and taking a hostage. Everyone knows how unfair the law is, yet nothing is done about it. People go on TV about once a month here and put across their story about how they are being sent broke by CSA, but nothing happens.

And to add insult to injury, there’s nothing I can do to earn extra money to make life easier for myself – because I would have to pay more child support. I’m in the Army, and we have discounted home loans available to us. But the discount we get is Fringe Benefits Tax reportable. Being in a government department, I don’t have to pay the FBT, but it counts as salary on my payment summary.

But guess what? Extra salary equals more child support. So if I use the Defence Home Loan, my salary goes up by about $16,000 per year, so I pay more child support. So how does a guy get ahead?

Do you deal with CSA? Are you having any success? Do you want to vent to someone who understands? Leave a comment and let me know what YOUR experience is. I’ve written to the Minister once, and when I get what I assume will be a lame-ass response, I have no problem holding her accountable.

BTW, if you want to email her, her name is Tanya Plibersek and her email address is: minister@humanservices.gov.au. Drop her a line and tell her what you think.