Tip #4 – The massage

Despite the simple title, if you get this right, she’ll melt under your touch. And if you combine this with the bath, she’ll be so relaxed and so happy, she’ll probably let you do anything you like to her.

If you haven’t worked it out for yourself at this point, the whole concept behind these tips is making it look as though you’re not after anything. You want her to feel as though you’re doing all these things because she’s special, you love her, and she deserves to be treated like a Princess. And we all know from TV, movies, and the odd hint that she drops that girls love it.

Education is the key here, and there’s any number of books or websites you can research to learn some tips and techniques for massage. You don’t have to be a qualified masseuse to drive her crazy, you just need a few simple tips to expand from.

The first one is the setting. What you’re looking for is romantic lighting – candles, and plenty of them. A nice smelling room is next. If you have two candles with the same aroma (vanilla, lavender, etc), they will make the room smell just the way she likes. Get yourself down to “Dusk” and look at the candles they have. Buy something that you like the smell of.

So once you’ve got the candles lit and the room smelling nice (you can use incense if you don’t have candles), you want to get another fluffy towel and lay it on the bed. This means that when you start massaging, you’re not going to get oil on the sheets and make it uncomfortable to sleep.

Working on the theory that you’re combining this massage with the bath you ran for your leading lady earlier, she’s already going to be feeling quite relaxed after the warm bath and the wine. And she’s going to be feeling a little sexy, because you laid out some nice lingerie for her to wear.

Take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom. When you get there, slowly remove her dressing gown and have her lay down on the bed – face down. Remove her bra if she’s still wearing it, and start by gently and lightly running your hands over her back. Start at her shoulders, and make sure you use the full size of your palms just below her neck – between her shoulder blades.

Let her feel the warmth of your hands. Move them slowly, and let her relax under your touch. Use firmer pressure when moving your hands TOWARDS her heart, lighter pressure when moving away.

After only a few minutes of this, use massage oil. It’s important to start by using just a small amount, and rub it between your palms to warm it up before touching her. Then gently slide your hands over the top part of her back, letting it get oily. Put another small amount in your hands, warm it and apply it to her lower back.

Due to the way YOUR hands will absorb some of the oil, the more times you re-oil, the less you will need. Once you have her lightly oilled, start to use firmer pressure on her shoulders and neck, using the tips of your thumbs and fingers to press a little deeper into the muscle. This is what will release her tension, help her relax, and moan at your touch.

If you need to, re-oil once more, but make sure you don’t end up with a thick film of oil on her back. When she rolls over to go to sleep, she won’t want to soak the sheets.

After at least 15 minutes, when she is more relaxed, let your hands slide to the waist band of her knickers. Let your fingers gently and casually slide under the waist band by only about 15mm – no more. And don’t leave your hands in her panties. Go back to rubbing her back, and each time your hands move down to her hips, let your fingers slip underneath again – a bit further.

One thing that sounds weird is that she will love you massaging her butt. Remember that your butt is really just a big muscle, so if you do it right, she’ll love it. Try to refrain from making this part sexual, because she might very well be used to having a real masseuse massage her body – and sometimes they massage butts.

After a little while longer, you will see, feel and HEAR her get more relaxed. That’s when you can start to make your move. If you haven’t already, remove her knickers so you can massage her butt properly, and also massage her thighs. As you massage the top of her thighs, gently apply pressure so that she starts to open her legs a bit. And from there – you’re on your own.

Just remember to work slowly and gently. If you’re crafty, you might be able to let one or two fingers get a little more risque, and progress from there. If not, you might want to get her to roll over and massage her front before going further.

One tip is that once you’ve gotten her worked up over the massage, bring the massage itself to end before progressing to sex. One way to do that is to gently remove your hands from her body and then gently lay a large, fluffy towel over her back. With a little pressure, rub your hands along the towel. This will kind of continue the massage a bit, but will help to absorb the oil and remove it from her back.

And then go for it! Make sure you come back and leave me some comments on how well this tip worked for you – and for her!

Tip #3 – Learn to run her a bath

This one IS a little special, and probably even requires some planning. I’ll add a few tips at the end as well, just to really make this one stand out.

If your “signficant other” works, then when you do this, make sure you get home first. It will surprise her to come home and find a warm bath all ready for her to soak after a hard day.

The first thing to do is set the bathroom. Chicks love candles, right? Get some. Actually, get lots. And not just those tea-light things. Get long skinny ones, tall fat ones, one or two smelly ones, and then some tea-lights. In the same way that there’s no such thing as too many chips with your parmigiana, so too is there no such thing as too many candles.

Before you lay out the candles, you need to tidy up the bathroom. Do you have kids? If so, remove or hide all the kids toys and all their crap. Shove it in the cupboard if you can, or if not, just take it to another room. Once her bath is over, you can put it all back.

Then set the candles. There’s no real trick to this, just lay them around everywhere. The only pointer I have is to think about the layout of the tub. Don’t put the tall candles anywhere where she could knock them over. Put the tall ones down the foot end, and the smaller ones (like tea-lights) up the head end.

Put them on the basin, on the window ledge if they’ll fit – remembering to be careful of blinds and curtains. A good tip is also to open the window just a touch. With all those candles in there, the bathroom will get hotter than Hades, and that’s not good karma for a bath.

If you plan this far enough ahead, you can also buy fake rose petals for about $15 from a variety of online adult stores. You can sprinkle them on the bathroom floor, and even make a path from your front door to the bathroom. Takes about 5 minutes to lay them out, and you won’t believe the return on THAT investment.

Do a test run. I can’t stress this enough. You need enough candles so that when you turn the lights off, there is a soft glow around the room. It needs to be bright enough to see the room, but dark enough to be romantic. If you get the lighting to the point where you shouldn’t really read a book in it, you’ve nailled it.

The trickiest part of this is getting all the candles lit before she gets to the bathroom. Try and work out what time she usually gets home, and light all the candles about 10 minutes before then. That will ensure that the taller candles will free up some wick and give you a bit of height to the flame, and also time to get in the lounge and start drinking a beer so she doesn’t know you’re up to something.

And remember – if there’s one thing girls love more than candles, it’s bubbles. Get some bubble bath, and make sure that when you fill the bath, there is a good layer of foam on top. All those TV ads for soaps and girly crap show hot women in a big bath full of bubbles. Every girl wants that. Ideally, get the layer of bubbles to sit higher than the side of the bath.

And speaking of bubbles – get champagne. Not the $3.99 rubbish from Coles, either. Go to a bottle shop, and spend at least $25. Ask the staff if you need to, but get the best you can for your money. Obviously for $50 or $80 you can get a great bottle, but it depends on whether this bath is “just because”, or because you f**ked up. The less credit you need, the less you can spend on champagne.

So now you need to time it right. And there’s two schools of thought on the champagne. Do you have a glass sitting there waiting? Or do you open it and pour it for her. Ultimately, this is up to you. If you want it pre-poured, remember that the bathroom will be warm from the water and the candles, so the drink will warm up too.

What I prefer to do is wait until she’s IN the bath, then I remove the foil, bring the bottle into the bathroom and open it right there. This works well, because she would be happy enough with the fact you ran her a bath and won’t be expecting anything else – so the champagne tops it off nicely. And for some reason, girls seem to love hearing that cork pop!

Once she’s in the bath and settled with her champagne (maybe even a chocolate if you have some), tell her that she’s not allowed to move for at least half an hour. She gets to relax, you get to finish your beer and/or watch football/cricket/sport/porn uninterrupted while she’s there. It’s a win-win. A good tip is to go back in after about 10 or 15 minutes, top up her drink and ask her if she needs anything. It lets her know that she’s allowed to relax, but that you haven’t forgotten about her.

When the time is up – and you don’t have to stick to the 30 minutes – go back in there and help her out of the bath. From that point forward, you have to make a few decisions of your own. It might be cool to dry her off yourself. Or maybe not. Also, it depends on what’s happening for dinner, and whether you have kids that need looking after.

Just remember that she’ll be feeling very relaxed, VERY happy with you, and maybe even feeling a little sexy. If you have kids, maybe you could tell her to get dressed and then sit on the lounge while you take care of the kids. Maybe you order chinese food and just chill together for a while. The decision is up to you, but the stage is set for whatever makes you both happy.

I told you I would throw in some of my fav tips, so here they are. You might be able to use some of them, all of them, or maybe none of them. But use them as a guide for yourself.

1. Make sure there’s a clean towel for her to use – not the one from the en suite. Make it your biggest towel, and make sure it’s soft and fluffy.

2. Go through her lingerie draw. Try and find something that you like to see her in, but also that she likes to wear. Even though you want to take advantage of her appreciation, you don’t want her changing into a latex catsuit. Pick something lacey and frilly that is comfortable. Place the lingerie in the bathroom before she gets home. Sure, she’ll laugh when she sees it, but after the bath, she’ll gladly put it on.

3. Give her something she can use to cover up. She’s not going to want to walk around the house in her lacey knickers, so if she has a nightie or dressing gown, put that out, too. You’ll both like the way it builds the anticipation.

4. Move to the lounge, and pour BOTH OF YOU some champagne. Watch a show or movie that she likes, and spend the time just touching her leg or holding her hand. I know, I know – it sounds gay. But you know what? Girls love that stuff. And once again, it takes no effort to hold her hand for 90 minutes, but it will make what happens later all the better for you.

5. It’s your job to empty the bath and blow out all the candles. Wait until she’s out the bathroom, perhaps once you’ve poured the drinks and then go back to the bathroom. You don’t have to clean it all up – just blow out the candles and the bath empty.

6. Do what comes naturally. That’s right – you’re done, and now it’s time to reap what you have sown. Unless she’s having her “ladies days”, you should be able to enjoy the rest of the night.

I probably should throw in a few caveats here. If you have kids, remember that they might cause you to have to change your timing. You might have to organise the bath for after the kids are in bed. Or, maybe you can have them stay with Grandma for the night. Just think about their impact and try to minimise it. The more “special” she feels, and the less she has to have her special bath effected by the kids, the better the return on your investment.

Dinner is also another issue. If you’re a dab hand in the kitchen, try and time it so dinner is cooked when she is finished the bath. If you get that timing right (and yes, she will eat dinner in lingerie if she has a dressing gown on), you’re on an even bigger winner.

Combine tips #1 and #2 with this one, and she’ll love you forever. Throw in tip 4 (coming soon) and she’ll forgive your every indiscretion.