Consumer Protection

I am constantly amazed that in Australia (and it turns out, on the internet as well), no-one seems to give a rat’s arse about consumers. And by that, I don’t just mean retailers or service providers, but government bodies as well.

My gorgeous girlfriend and I were about to embark on a two week trip to the USA. A couple of days in Sanfran, almost a week in Vegas, and almost a week in NYC. It was shaping up to be the trip of a lifetime, and my GF had spent a good month planning every detail.

But then, fate struck. 13 days prior to our trip, it was bin day at home. I went to put the bins out, and thanks to our driveway being on a steep incline, the recycle bin began to overbalance. I put my foot back to steady myself and clipped the edge of the gutter. My ankle rolled, and down I went, faster than a cheap whore.

As I plunged toward the road, I heard a crack and then felt the bitumen slap me in the face. The pain I felt was intense. I found myself incapacitated for a few minutes, and was stuck, laying on the road, unable to move from the pain. I managed to lift my head and see if any of my neighbours were on their way to help, but being midweek, there was no-one in the street.

I managed to struggle my way to my foot, and just then my GF stepped outside to see what was taking me so long. We headed off to the hospital, and I discovered I had fractured my toe. A “Jones Fracture” they call it, where the little toe is broken. Well, it’s not so much broken, as snapped off. Where the toe bone (metatarsal) attaches to the foot bone, the pressure of the tendons actually separates the bone from the foot. Not good.

So I got to spend that night in hospital, after having undergone surgery to screw my metatarsal back onto my foot. And here I am now, laid up, typing away.

The saddest part, is that my GF now has to undo everything she has done for our trip, because I’m in a cast-thingy – so I can’t fly. Luckily, we took out travel insurance, but despite that, it seems that nobody gives a shit, and they’re all out for their pennies.

We had booked some internal flights in the USA through Continental, but when we called to explain what happened, guess how much sympathy we got? F**k all, my friends. They told us that we could cancel, or “postpone”, our flights, but we would be getting no money back at all. Virgin America have charged us a $150 cancellation fee, giving us back $57 of our flights.

We had booked our long-haul flights with QANTAS using FF points. Again, we explained what had happened, and they happily cancelled our flights. With a 5,000 point PER PERSON fee. Any sympathy? F**k no.

The insurance company are doing ok so far, but the first guy my GF spoke to was a moron. He actually told her that he didn’t know what the process was for providing refunds. When my GF asked if we should be trying to get refunds from each provider first, he replied with something like “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea”. F**kwit.

What I want to know, is why is it so f**king hard for consumers to be protected against companies happy to take your money, but who would rather spend $10,000 fighting you, than handing over the $1,000 you committed to them, but didn’t spend. Especially when our cancellation opens up the opportunity to re-sell our tickets.

Maybe the ACCC should start working on this shit. Instead of sitting in their ivory tower and arguing over shit that really doesn’t matter, let’s see our citizens afforded some legal protection from being ripped off.

As an example, I want to mention the ordeal I went through with QANTAS. We found the flights we wanted, and my GF gifted all her FF points to me so I could buy the flights. We still came up a bit short, so I rang QANTAS to purchase the “top up” points. Their terms and conditions state that you can only purchase “top up” points once in every 12 month period. Fair enough.

When we looked online, the flights cost 220,000 points. I rang QANTAS the next morning and purchased the points we needed to book the flights. Once that happened, I rang my GF and said she could book the flights. But guess what? The flights were now 224,000 points. I rang QANTAS back, and they couldn’t have cared less.

Until I started a fight. They argued that I agreed with the condition of one purchase per 12 months. I argued my point, and then the most amazing thing happened. The woman I was talking to told me that QANTAS KNOW that this problem exists. She told me that despite knowing it’s an issue, I was NOT permitted to by the extra points, nor would they cancel my initial purchase. HOW IS THAT F**KING LEGAL?

I put up a fight, stating that I had made the purchase in goodwill, and that there was a problem with the website. Despite sympathising with me, the woman initially stood by her theory that she couldn’t help me.

Being a stubborn bastard, I stood my ground, and eventually the woman agreed to speak to her supervisor. When she came back on the line, she said they MIGHT be able to help, but they had to speak to their head office in Sydney and would need to call me back.

I waited nearly half an hour before they called back. I was told that QANTAS were prepared to cancel the initial purchase and allow me to buy enough points to buy the flights. But did they admit liability? F**k no. They didn’t let me do this because of THEIR error. Their reason was that I called back almost immediately once I discovered the problem.

Why aren’t arseholes like this governed by some law that stops them ripping off their customers? It means that innocent consumers like you and me are at the mercy of the incompetence of some of these morons. If they f**k up, we suffer. And if my argument hadn’t won out this time, not only would I have been out of pocket some $500, but it would have meant that we would not have been able to fly to America. Not that we’re going now anyway – lol.

The thing is, we all know what a great guy Sir Richard Branson is. Remember that guy that complained about the meal on his flight, and was then offered a job? Mr Branson seems to be the shining light (along with Dick Smith) who cares about Joe Average and making sure they keep their customers. Maybe I should write Mr Branson a letter. After all, he is a bit of a hero of mine.

Have you been the victim of some company who screwed up and then let you suffer for it? If so, let me know. In the last five years, I have learned some pretty impressive legal facts that might not only stop you being ripped off next time, but might help you out THIS time.

Living in your own little world, then?

Being Thursday night, my gorgeous girl and I decided to head down to the shops and check out the sales. I’m not 100% sure if it’s a result of the floods, but when we got there, the place was like a ghost town. Until around 7pm. When a whole new universe was created inside our local Westfield.

I say that, because it seems that every man and his dog, these days, lives in their own world and has no clue what is happening six inches in front of their nose. Although, having said that, it’s usually the 20-something girls in their own world. Walking along, texting on their iPhones, not paying attention to anything around them.

This seriously drives me crazy. As if we all need yet another reason to think Gen Y don’t give a shit about anything other than themselves, they pull THIS stunt. If I wasn’t such a wonderful bloke, I’d stop side-stepping these ignorant schmucks and just walk into them. But something stops me from doing that. Maybe it’s because I feel pity for animals more stupid than me.

So, if you’re one of these people, who’s job is as important as the Prime Minister’s, or the Director of the CIA, then text away my friend. I fully appreciate how valuable your time is, and how legitimate your need for communication. But if you’re NOT employed in a role that supports the UN or some other human rights organisation – ONE THING AT A BLOODY TIME!! If you REALLY need to text someone – take one step sideways, up against a wall and stop walking. Send your message, and be on your way.

And just when I thought these people were the most frustrating on Earth, I come across this next group: The people who are busy doing something else (texting on their iPhones, maybe) when the traffic light goes green.

Brisbane traffic control is average at the best of times. So when the light goes green mate, you better be ready to go. Your lapse in concentration can mean the difference between 3 cars getting through – or 6.

What the hell is it that these people are doing when the light turns green? Does the sudden change take them by surprise? I have no bloody idea what they’re up to, but what they’re NOT doing, is paying attention to the outside world. And if you’re impatient enough to give them a quick toot, they give you the finger!

And I don’t mean one of those long, drawn out “Hey, jackass. Pay attention to the light” honks. I’m talking about that little ‘bip’ you do that means something more like “Excuse me Sir/Madam, in case you’re unaware, the light has now turned to green, indicating that you may proceed safely through the intersection”.

I’m sure that stress and aggravation levels would significantly decrease, if these morons took an extra two seconds to quickly scan the world around them, and react appropriately. Wouldn’t you agree?

Tradies

What is with these knuckleheads? I mean, seriously. I had to restrain myself from adding the “C” word to the title.

In my job, I start early, so that means I get to travel to work with every tradie in Brisbane – I’m sure of it. And if it’s not EVERY tradie, then it’s just the ones who can’t f**king drive.

This morning, before 7am, I was subjected to one bloke who was driving a work ute, and towing a trailer made out of the back half of another work ute. You know the kind I mean. But here’s the catch. On the left side of the trailer, there were no lights. I don’t mean he had lights, but they had somehow malfunctioned. There were no lights. At all.

And on the right side, all the wires were hanging out and there were no globes or cover. So…… the genius in this story was driving through semi-peak hour traffic with no lights on his trailer. And then he decided that if he wasn’t going around 15 kph over the speed limit, his dick would shrink to a size even smaller than it already is.

You can imagine the havoc he was wreaking by driving like this without lights. So as he weaved his way Matrix-like through the traffic, we were all left guessing what his next move would be.

As I got closer to work, I was subjected to even more of these morons. I’ll admit that parking must be at a premium, but I’m sure that there’s a clause in parking legislation that allows minimum-wage, minimum-intelligence tradesman to park wherever the f**k they want, blocking traffic and putting lives at risk.

I had almost made it to work when I was subjected to the moron of all f**kwits. A guy in a lorry (the only way I can explain the medium-size of his truck) comes out of someone’s driveway. The road I was on would easily fit five cars abreast (hehe, I said breast), however our hero managed to block the entire road.

And then, he drove at around 20 kph in a 50 kph zone. And then he slowed down. And then he slowed down some more. And then he stopped. Right in the middle of the road. No brake lights. No indicators. No hazard lights. Just decided to stop. As I put my life in danger to get around this idiot – considering all I wanted to do was get away from him, as he obviously had no intention of letting the rest of us know his plan – I did that most masculine of things, and abused him through my window – so that he couldn’t hear me.

So why is it, these champions of society get away with it? When I do 5 kph over the speed limit, it’s like someone put out an APB on my car, and I’m surrounded by a SWAT team. And yet these bottom-feeders manage to get away with treating the law like it doesn’t exist – or at least, doesn’t apply to them.

What’s happening to society?

I know I’ve grumbled about people before, and their poor attitudes these days. But on Saturday, it nearly came to a head for me. That’s right – I was nearly in a fight.

For those of you not in Australia, Dan Murphy’s is our latest chain of discount alcohol stores. And they deliver in spades. Their stores are huge and their prices are often ridiculously cheap. So with the Silly Season upon us, you can imagine what their stores – and car parks – are like.

On Saturday, my significant other and I thought we’d best get our butts down to Dan’s and arrange the alcohol we need for the big day. But of course, the whole of Brisbane had the same idea.

One customer, obviously fed up with the lack of car parks, kind of just…..stopped driving… in the car park. They blocked one half of a VERY busy throughway, and the driver disappeared into the store while their passenger sat – not so patiently – in the car.

Tempers ran hot, and more than a few people were getting pissed off. As we approached the store, the passenger got out of the car, approached the driver of the car behind him, and proceeded to verbally abuse him. Lots of “Not a great day to f**k with me, c**t”. Over and over again.

I may not be Batman, but I’m more than happy to protect a fellow citizen if the need arises, so I slowed my pace and kept an eye on this bloke. And he was a pretty decent size. You know the kind, goatee, tatts, and a “the world owes me something” kind of attitude.

He proceeded to abuse the driver behind him, whose crime appeared to be getting frustrated at the driver who just stopped his car and blocked traffic.

My girlfriend and I mosied our way past, while I kept my eye on the eloquent gentleman. He continued his rant all the way back to his car, but then noticed me watching him.

“You got a problem now too c**t?” he threw at me, with steam coming out of his ears. I was mightily impressed by his vocabulary and pronunciation. I simply looked him in the eye and replied “No mate. Just keeping an eye on you”. Care to guess his response? “Not a good day to f**k with me c**t. Just keep f**king walking”.

We were only about 3 metres away from this guy, but I gamely responded with a “Yes, dear” and went on my way – obviously watching him out of the corner of my eye, just in case. I could feel his angry eyes burning a hole in me.

So back to my initial question: What’s happening to society? How is it that people these days seem entitled to do the wrong thing and then go on the offensive when someone complains?

Road rage is a classic example. Someone cuts you off, you beep your horn, and they give you the finger and a mouthfull of abuse. Since when was that the natural order of things?

The problem is that to stop all this shit from happening, someone has to make the first move. But it’s harder than you would think. Society is almost like the cold war. SOMEONE has to be the first to say “Right, we’re going to destroy all our weapons and be nice”. But the other side has to believe them, and be prepared to do the same thing.

If you’re playing along at home, you’ll know I believe in manners and courtesy. I treat people with respect and I’m polite. And I am MORE than happy to lay down my weapons, but I need A-holes like the bloke in my story to do the same. And what chance do I have against these people? Until these morons realise they’re morons and that because of them and people like them, the world is going to hell in a hand basket, we’re all screwed.

Inconsiderate colleagues

As much as I try to get along with the people at work, there’s a couple of stereotypes that I know we’re all dealing with. Let’s face it, there’d be very few people who go to work because they prefer it to being at home, so why do we put up with these people?

Exhibit A: The person who microwaves their lunch, but then decides that 2 minutes isn’t EXACTLY how long they want their food in there. They really only want to microwave it for 1 minute 57 seconds. So they open the door with 3 seconds to go. Let me start by saying I have no problem with this. Occasionally, I too have punched a time-frame that was a bit long, and on my return have found a melted lid and steam/smoke filling the oven. BUT, I press that little CANCEL button. It’s not hard, and I don’t have to push my next meeting back to fit it in. BEEP, we’re done. So why is it so F**KING hard for others to do the same?

Exhibit B: The loud phone talker. This is the genius who hasn’t yet grasped the technology of the telephone. Sure, in the days of tin cans and string, you had to raise your voice a little so the sound would travel. But not, they have these things called microphones, right? So why, does this Einstein YELL in to the phone? There is one guy at my work who is so f**king loud, you can hear him as you enter the building. Luckily, I’m not known for my tact, so I pass his workstation, I put my finger to my lips, and give him a SSSShhhhhhh. If only I didn’t have to do it 5 times a day.

Exhibit C: The guy with no life. You know who I mean. Everyone has someone at their work who never seems to leave. He’s there when you show up in the morning, and he’s still there when you go home 30 minutes late. Even when this guy is on leave, he shows up anyway. I have one such offender in my workplace. We have threatened several times to chalk his tyre, just to make sure he goes home at night. With Christmas fast approaching, most of my colleagues have started their holidays. And even though this guy has been on leave for a week, he has been in every day, doing work. He’s been working harder on holidays than I do when I’m working!

Exhibit D: The person who fails/refuses to pass on information. Sadly, my work seems to be BUILT on these people. There’s less than 40 people in my workplace, and our role is quick dynamic, so our tasks change regularly. In that kind of world, everyone needs to know what’s going on at all times. The office space we occupy is so small, any individual could literally step outside their office and shout “Hey, there’s a meeting after lunch in my office!”, or “Tomorrow, I need everyone to make sure they’re wearing a bikini”. Not literally, but you know what I mean. What we have, is people who either walk around to everyone individually and tell them, or who wait until the morning and then say “By the way, we’re all wearing bikinis today”. Idiot.

Exhibit E: The person who can’t use the internet. How, on God’s green f**king Earth, in this day and age, can someone who has a job, NOT be able to navigate the internet? Seriously! And I don’t mean design a web page, or anything technical. One colleague yesterday not only didn’t know how to get to, or use, google maps, but when I tried talking him through it, and started with “Right, open Internet Explorer”, he couldn’t even really manage that. He did that thing where you don’t double-click fast enough, and then the icon title highlights. But he sat there, staring blankly, unable to even resolve THAT little problem. Moron.

Have I missed someone? I’m sure there’s more of these people out there, but I now need to take a few deep breaths and finish my bourbon. Let me know if there’s someone at your work who drives you nuts.

Stupid doesn’t hurt anymore

I’ve mentioned this before, but a colleague of mine always says “Stupid doesn’t hurt anymore”. What he means by that is that those of us with more than a modicum of common sense have to have our lives filled with rules and restrictions so that the idiots don’t kill themselves. Whatever happened to natural selection??

One of my BIGGEST hates on the road is RED RIGHT ARROWS (RRA). As much as I try, I can’t come to any conclusion as to what purpose they could possibly serve, other than to stop f**kwits from killing themselves. And let’s face it, if you’re stupid enough to drive your car into the side of a truck, maybe you SHOULD drive your car into the side of a truck.

Let me just quickly remind our American friends again that our lanes work backwards over here. So our red RIGHT arrows would be the same as a red LEFT arrow for you guys. Now you see what I mean? Exactly!

In Brisbane, we all get sit at traffice lights with RRA. And wait. While there’s no on-coming traffic. What…..The…..F**k. The compounding issue here is that the line of traffic waiting to turn right grows longer and longer for no logical reason. So when that RRA goes away, only about 4 cars get through, and then the rest get stuck – at the arrow, with no oncoming traffic.

If our governments stopped thinking along the line of protecting the dullards, and let those of us with more than a handful of brain cells think for ourselves, I wouldn’t spend 20 minutes of every hour waiting to turn right. Maybe then some of these morons might start to be removed from the mortal coil, and the rest of us could live in relative happiness.

Just think. If these people slowly disappeared, maybe you wouldn’t need all those shitty little warnings you see everywhere. Like having to reduce the speed limit by 20 – 30kph at “roadworks” when there’s actually nothing restricting the flow of traffic. Or maybe the fact that if you fall down a flight of stairs, you won’t be able to sue anyone any more. After all, if you fall down, that’s because you f**ked up, right?

Here’s another example – and yes, this is true. At my work, we needed someone to install a lite-pro on our ceiling. All the cabling was down when the building was built, but for some reason we needed a custome bracket for the hardware. So the guy shows up, climbs his ladder and drills a couple of holes in the ceiling for the screws to go into.

When he’s almost finished, he realises he left a couple of screws in his truck, so climbs down his ladder and grabs what he needs. When he gets back inside, some Inspector has arrived, to make sure the “workplace is safe”. The guys has – literally – two screws left to put in and the 3 hour job is done.

But Miss Safety-first inspects the guy’s ladder. “It’s out of date” she tells us. It seems that someone hasn’t inspected this guy’s ladder recently, so she deems it unsafe (despite the fact the guy has been up and down it for the last 3 hours). The guy comes back with “No problem, I have another on in the truck”.

He retrieves the ladder, but it turns out THIS one has NEVER been inspected! OMG! So Miss Safety-first deems this one an abomination, and the whole job comes screaming to halt. Even though, after 3 hours, we just need two screws installed.

I have nothing against the bloke – he’s doing his job. But I work on the theory that some genius once fell off a ladder – because he (or she) was being stupid. So now, EVERYONE has to have their ladders inspected at regular intervals to make sure that WE can’t be sued when they kill themselves.

Why can’t we just let these idiots kill themselves? And then the rest of us can go back to the way life was in the ’80′s, where everyone used commonsense. And if you stuffed something up, it was YOUR fault and you couldn’t sue someone. How I long for those days!

Drivers who can’t colour in

I don’t want to get into the habit of going on and on about drivers every day, but if I wasn’t meant to, I figure more of them would know how to drive.

What is it with these morons who continually cross the white line? Whether they’re going round a bend in the road, taking a corner or even just driving in a bloody straight line. Some idiots seem to be unable to keep their car inside the lines.

So it got me wondering…….. are these the kids that failed colouring-in at Primary School? Maybe it’s a reflection of how hard it is to be a teacher these days. Maybe if the Education department focussed more on making sure that a child stays in the lines when they colour in a picture of a dog, we wouldn’t have morons putting lives at danger by being mentally unable to keep their two-tonne killing machine inside the designated lines on the road.

But enough. I’m going to have a drink and try to forget about these ass-clowns, and hope that the guy I had to avoid today isn’t on the road tomorrow.

Let’s do this

Ok, time to let fly with my first rant. I live in Australia – obviously – and unfortunately we can be known for our poor driving skills. What I don’t understand is why driving a car seems to be akin to flying the Space Shuttle for some people. I mean, most people seem to drive automatics these days, right? So how hard is it?

One pedal to go faster, one to go slower, and you just turn the wheel so you don’t bang into anything. And yet despite this seemingly simple concept, some drivers struggle. And this is the basics. I haven’t even mentioned using indicators yet, or maintaining a constant speed, or making an effort not to be dangerous on the road. Just go faster, or slower, or in a different direction so you don’t have a collision, and we’ll work on it from there.

But sadly, I DID mention indicators, and now I’ve riled myself up. What’s with those morons who seem to lack the capacity to give that little stick a shove with their finger whenever they want to change direction? Is it really THAT hard? Or maybe they’re CIA or some other secret agent, and their movements are so God Damned secret that the rest of us aren’t permitted even a second’s warning of what they plan to do.

And as if these morons aren’t bad enough, what about the legends who start changing lanes, and then when they’re about half way across, let their indicator blink once. ONCE. What the f***? I have news for these people. Don’t even f***ing bother, mate, because one of two things has already happened. Either I’ve already hit my brakes because you decided you had to occupy the same spot as my car, in which case your indicator is now as useful to both of us as tickets to see The Beatles this weekend, or if I was lucky enough to have you in front of me, I kind of worked out your master plan the second your wheels crossed the line.

Now I do realise that I seem to have some super-power when it comes to driving a car. I can manage to get from A to B without hitting anyone, or cutting people off, or killing myself. Except for that time I reversed into a motorbike (oops). So, considering my apparently amazing abilities, I have no problem with watching people try their best, and use the best of intentions to drive properly, even when they don’t do such a great job.

You know who I mean. The guy who actually DOES indicate, but starts 500m before he manoeuvres and then forgets to turn it off afterwards. I shake my head, but it’s good to see him having a go. And what about the young girl on P plates, who still lacks a little confidence. She WANTS to turn across traffic, but unless there’s a gap big enough to sail the Titanic through, she’s just not gonna risk it. Once again, she earns a shake of the head, but she’s giving it a red-hot go.

Over time, you’ll see drivers make regular appearances on my blog. I’m not picking on them specifically, they just give me so much material to “discuss”. So if you got a chuckle out of my post, or found yourself shouting “YES” and pointing at your monitor, let me know what you think. Do you encounter these evolutionary giants as well? Or maybe you’re one of them and can explain to me why you do what you do. But feel free to let me know I’m not the only bloke out there wondering who these people slept with or bribed to get a driver’s license.