Tip #5 – Pancakes

I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve agonised over posting this tip. I consider this my masterpiece, and it has never failed. You can make these for breakfast or dessert and I guarantee she will love them. Just like my tip on cooking, you can make these for your mother on Mother’s Day as well, or even when you have close friends or family staying over.

These pancakes are deceptively filling, so two will be enough for one person. To make four pancakes, you will need two eggs, a little plain flour (maybe about half a cup), butter, some milk (maybe about a cup), a pinch of sugar, butter, a punnet of strawberries, some castor sugar and some butter.

I know I sounded incompetent, but you really do need to add quite a bit of butter to all this. You can probably tell from my list of ingredients that this isn’t a precise recipe. Most of it is made to taste, so you need to work with it as you go. This will actually make it look like you’re making shit up as you go – which can be a GREAT bonus.

Start by making the pancakes. Break two eggs into a mixing bowl, and use a whisk to beat them quite a bit. You want them to be completely yellow, to the point where they seem to have a little froth on top. Make sure all the white is beaten in.

Then, sprinkle a fine layer of flour over the eggs, and use the whisk to mix it in. It will get a few little lumps in it, but don’t stress. Mix the flour as well as you can, and if you have to, kind of squish the flour lumps against the side of the bowl.

Once the flour is pretty well mixed in, sprinkle on another layer and mix it in again, the same way. There will be less lumps, and they will go away quicker. Add flour twice more, making sure it’s mixed in well each time. After the last time, make sure your mixture is smooth and thick. If it’s still too watery, add flour again and mix it in.

Now add a pinch of sugar. A pinch is made using your thumb and your pointer and middle fingers. Sprinkle in the sugar and mix it in a bit. Then add a small amount of milk. You’ll notice that when you add it, it won’t mix in very well by itself. Using the whisk, gently mix in the milk so that the mixture gets a little more runny.

Add milk again – more than the first time – and mix it in. Do this one or two more times, each time adding a little more milk than the time before. You want the mixture to get back to a consistency almost like water, but not quite as runny.

Then you want to sit that aside for a bit. Turn on the oven (that’s the part with the door where you cook a roast) to about 100°C. Then put a frying pan on the stove, and get the heat going to about a low/medium point – less than 50%.

While all that’s happening, grab out the strawberries. Cut off the green bit and then stand the strawberry up, pointing towards the ceiling. Slice the strawberry three times vertically, rotate it 90° and make the three cuts again. This will cut the strawberry into little sticks. Do this with almost the entire punnet, then put them aside.

By now, your pan should be hot enough. Assuming you have a standard stick of butter (looks like a rectangular building block), slice about 3mm off one end and put it in the pan. It should melt quite quickly, but not sizzle and evaporate the second it hits the pan. If it does, turn the heat down a bit.

Swirl the pan around so the butter covers the base. If there’s not enough in there, just add some more. Once the butter has melted, and maybe goes a bit bubbly, you’re going to add the pancake batter. Put the pan flat on the stove, and pour some batter into the centre. Remember that we know that a liquid always finds it’s own level? Pour in enough batter so that it will spread out and cover the entire base of the pan – but not too thickly.

The thinner they are, the quicker they cook and the less “eggy” they will taste. After a couple of seconds, if the batter hasn’t covered the base, either swirl the pan a little, or add a bit more batter – maybe both. Then leave it until little bubbles start to appear.

Before you try and flip the pancake, don’t do it like they do in the cartoons – or you’ll get a cartoon ending. Get a plastic egg flip and gently slide it under an edge. You want to make sure the pancake will slip around the pan before you flip it. Then, get the egg flip as far under as you can so that the pancake doesn’t tear, and in one fluid motion, turn the pancake over.

Let it cook for a couple of minutes and then lift one side with the egg flip and check that it’s cooked. Once it’s done, transfer it to a clean plate, put the plate in the oven and start again with a new pancake. As each pancake is cooked, just add it to the “stack” in the oven. This will keep them hot until you are ready to put them togather. Once all the pancakes are done, you’re ready to start on the strawberry filling.

Use the same pan you used to cook the pancakes. It saves washing up, and the pan is already hot. Turn the heat up just a tad and once it’s ready, put ALL of the strawberries in the pan. They should sizzle a little bit, which is good, and then let them cook for a few minutes by themselves. The heat will draw out the liquid in the pancake, giving you the beginnings of a great sauce.

After a few minutes, and a decent sized knob of butter. The butter will melt and make the sauce a bit more runny. Keep cooking the strawberries until they get nice and soft, but don’t let them fall apart and form a mess. If they start to dry out, add some more butter to keep the sauce going. When you think the strawberries are just about done, add some castor sugar and gently stir it in. This is where you need to taste as you go and bring the sauce to a nice mix of tart and sweet.

Once they’re done, grab the pancakes out of the oven. Use a mitt, because the plate will be f**king hot.Before you do the next step, take a look at the strawberries in the pan, and think about how you’re going to divide the mixture evenly amongst the pancakes. If you’ve only made four pancakes, you’ll obviously divide the pan into quarters. Picture in your mind how much mixture that is, because once you start the next step, things will start to run together.

Using a big spoon, spoon some strawberries and sauce onto a pancake, just “below” the centre. Then fold the bottom part of the pancake up until it almost completely covers the strawberries. Fold the sides in and gently press down to make the pancake “pocket” the size you want. Then, fold the “top” section down, covering the whole pocket. Then, VERY VERY gently, transfer the pancake onto a clean plate. It will be easier if you can gently slip the egg flip under the pancake to help.

Do this with all the pancakes, but try to leave a little bit of sauce in the pan for the end. Then, just like you see on TV, drizzle some of the sauce over the pancakes.

If you don’t like strawberries, you can substitute raspberries, or even bananas. Bananas don’t have their own liquid, so you would need to add butter before frying them, and you would almost need one whole banana per person. These pancakes are also really nice if you slip some ice magic or other chocolate sauce inside the pancake. And if you make a chocolate heart, like in tip #2, gently place it on top of the pancakes immediately before serving – and then run! The heat of the pancakes will VERY quickly melt the heart.

Tip #2 – Learn to cook. Something

Just like tip #1, I’m not talking about getting yourself to the standard of competing on Masterchef or anything like that. But there are a couple of things you should learn to cook.

Breakfast

With a little practice and a few tricks, you can make it special. The beauty of this is that whether you already spend most of the week in the kitchen, or if you only ever cook vegemite toast once each year, she will enjoy helping you design a great breakfast.

Keep it simple though, because the more you have going at once, the more can go wrong. What I find works is a piece of toast, eggs (done the way she likes), a hash brown and either some mushrooms, bacon or those short sausages.

You need to get your timing right so that everything is ready at the same time – and this is where practice makes perfect. On the weekend, wake up together and make breakfast together. If you grill a hash brown, it should take around 10 minutes. If you shallow fry it in hot oil, maybe around 7, and toast should take about 3, depending on how black she likes it. Mushies could be between 5 and 10 depending on how you like them. If I get some comments on mushies, I can tell you the best recipe for breakfast mushies – even vegetarians will love them.

Eggs are all different. How does she like them? Poached, scrambled, fried or boiled? The interwebs will tell you how long to cook each type, depending on whether you want them runny, firm or hard. Did you know that you can scramble eggs in a pan in around 30 seconds once they hit the heat? I didn’t either – but learn how.

It might take you two or three attempts to get breakfast right. But once you do, you will be able to do it on command – or on a whim. Then, when it’s her birthday, or your anniversary, or Mother’s Day, or “just because”, you can make her breakfast. And we all know how much the girls love “just because”.

Her favourite dinner

Obviously I can’t give you much advice on this. But find out what she loves, and learn to make it. Be open to criticism when she tries it. After all, you’re after a longer term solution, not a quick fix. If the veggies are too crunchy (or too soft), don’t get shitty. Learn from it – she’ll love it. If the chicken/fish/pasta/lamb/steak is undercooked, learn from it. After a couple of tries, you’ll nail it.

Dessert

Again, you want to find out what she likes, and learn to make it perfectly. I don’t mean ice-cream on a store-bought pie either. I have a great recipe for strawberry, raspberry or banana pancakes that I invented – and no-one has ever turned them away. You might even find yourself learning to bake a cake. Sideline your macho ego and think about how much she’ll appreciate it, and what the benefit to you could be.

Once you get these basics sorted, you’re on the way to making her putty in your hands. Learn to tweak things slightly, and your options start to open up. AND it means that the next time you cook breakfast, there’ll be a surprise. You’ll be surprised how much she’ll love it – and love you for it.

Here’s one tip for the dessert – and it keeps to my usual concept of not doing much, but making it look complex. If you don’t already have a heart-shaped cookie cutter, get your arse down to your local kitchen shop and buy one. They cost bugger-all and will come in VERY handy. Then drop by the supermarket and pick up some ice magic.

When you’re planning to make her dessert, get something thin and flat – like a plate or small chopping board. Place some baking paper over your surface and put the cookie cutter on it, making sure there are no gaps underneath. Then, simply squeeze ice magic into the cookie cutter and let it smooth out and fill the shape. You can make it as thick as you like, but remember that it’s pure chocolate, so it’s quite rich. It only needs to be about 2mm thick.

Then, VERY gently, place it in the freezer. Obviously, the longer you freeze it, the harder it will be, and the longer it will stay in shape after you remove it. VERY gently remove the cookie cutter, and you’ll be left with a perfect, crisp heart-shaped chocolate. If you’re super keen, wait a few minutes until it STARTS to go firm, then remove the cookie cutter and make a second heart. When they’re done, you just find a nice way to add it to the dessert. Maybe lay it on top. Or along side it. Or if you can, have it stand up, on top.

Tip #1 – Learn to make a great drink

So here’s one of my secrets. Minimal input with maximum effect. Learn to make two things great: Her favourite drink and a French Martini. Whatever her fav drink is, make it the best it’s ever been. Does she like a G&T? Try it with a slice of lime, or maybe a squirt of bitters. Find a unique twist and ALWAYS make it that way. It will be special for her because you make it different to everyone else, and you make it the best.

And the French Martini. Man’s best friend. Looks complicated, tastes great, but it’s easy to make and it’s easy to make it sparkle. Here’s how you make one:

30ml vanilla vodka

30ml chambord (it’s a berry liqueur)

30ml pineapple juice

Sure, the vodka and chambord might not be in your cupboard, but for about $40 each, you will have enough to make around 1,000 of these. Here’s what you do:

Use a martini glass. You can get cheap “cocktail glasses” at Target, K-mart or pretty much any homewares shop. Put the glass in your freezer while you make the drink. The glass will get a little bit cold, but when you take it out and it hits the warm air, it will frost, and that’s what you’re looking for.

Put two ice cubes in a cocktail shaker and add the three ingredients. If you have a large glass, do 45ml of everything – the trick is equal measures. Then, shake the living shit out of the drink for about 20 seconds. If you do it right, you will end up with some froth on the top of the drink when you pour – but the froth isn’t essential.

Keep the strainer on the shaker and pour the drink into the glass and serve – this stops the ice dropping into the drink. It’s that simple. BUT, if you really want the drink to “pop”, here’s a couple of tips for garnish. Once again, they’re simple, but they add a great appearance to the drink and make it look like you worked harder than you really did.

1. Get a straw and cut it to be about 5cm longer than the side of the glass – no need to be exact. Wet one side of the straw a little from about the middle to one end. Then press the straw gently against the UNDERSIDE of the glass, so that the top points upwards. The straw will stick there by itself until the lady removes it to drink.

The harder you shake when mixing, the thicker the layer of foam on top. CLICK ON IMAGE TO SEE FULL SIZE

2. Get a strawberry and a sharp knife. Hold the strawberry slightly above the rim of the glass, with the pointy end facing out, but at 90° to the side of the glass.

Use the knife to cut a slit in the strawberry on the same angle as the glass so the strawb will slide onto the side of the glass. Gently push a straw through the strawberry, making sure that the angle allows the straw to sit in the bottom “point” of the martini glass (as shown at left). Slide the straw completely out and cut off the end which is now filled with strawberry. Slip the straw back through the strawberry and serve.

CLICK ON IMAGE TO SEE FULL SIZE

Whoever you serve this up for, she’ll love it. Whether it’s your Mum on Mother’s Day, your wife, or that special lady you’re trying to impress. The drink is kind of fruity and sweet, and after two or three of these, she’ll be relaxed and giggling like a school girl. All you need then is the school uniform!