I hate thongs. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this in a post before, but I don’t really care. After getting out of the house yesterday, I’m going to mention them again.

Now, for all my international readers, I’m not talking about g-strings here. God knows, I LOVE g-strings. I’m talking about flip-flops, or whatever you want to call them. Those rubber things that you wear when you’re using a public shower, collecting the mail, or putting out the bins.

Regular readers will know that I broke my foot a week ago. I’m hobbling around on crutches, but yesterday we ventured out and went to the movies. We went and saw Thor, which I thought was pretty good, but I won’t get into that here.

What annoys me, is when you go out somewhere and people (mainly guys) are wearing thongs on their feet. Thongs are NOT shoes, gentleman. Thongs are to be used for the activities mentioned above.

For a start, they’re not a fashion item. They don’t look cool and they don’t make your other clothes look good. Even girls should be paying attention here. They get away with it because they don’t just have rubber thongs, they have gold and silver ones, and they also have ones with some bling. And let’s face it, the girls have boobs, so they get away with pretty much anything.

For the ignorant ones out there, it’s actually ILLEGAL to drive with thongs on. On the way to the cinema yesterday, we stopped for fuel, and a couple of bogans pulled up in a V8 ute. The driver got out, wearing cammo long shorts and thongs. Nothing would make me happier than if there were cops around to stop this bloke and give him a lecture – or a ticket.

I’ve seen guys (and girls) get relatively dressed up for a nice dinner, and top off their ‘outfit’ with thongs. And I don’t mean just a clean t-shirt and jeans. I’ve seen guys with collared shirts ($100+), good quality jeans ($100+) and a pair of what we call double-pluggers ($5 at K-mart). Morons.

And I accidentally mentioned cammo shorts, so now I have to whinge about them. I’m in the Army. Camouflage is NOT a fashion item, morons. I won’t discuss it’s  practical application, but it annoys me to see guys walking down the street wearing cammo shorts. I just don’t get how they look fashionable. I don’t see it.

The other military item that shits me, are the ones that have rank on them. I saw Jamie Oliver wearing a shirt with Sergeant stripes on it. Why? Honestly….why? A shirt like that does nothing for me, except scream “Wanker”. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jamie. In fact, it’s Jamie who got me in the kitchen. Before Jamie, I could never manage to touch raw meat.

But dudes, stop wearing MY daily work clothes! I see it every f**king day at work. I DON’T need to see you walking down the street in some kind of bullshit knock-off. I don’t walk down the street wearing a Target uniform in yellow, do I?