What is it with these companies who seem to have to right to knock at my door on weekends or bug me while I’m relaxing with a glass of wine?

Maybe they DO have the right to annoy me on weekends, but do I have the right to tell them to “F**k off”? Because I should. And so should you. Because the problem is, WE feel bad trying to tell them we’re not interested, or when we tell them to go away. And we shouldn’t.

Just today, I had an asian (Pakistani/Indian or the like) from a company called Origin come to my door. In Brisbane, they’ve privatised the supply of utilities, so now they’re all competing with each other. Sounds great, right? Not when every other day, one of them is banging on your door, asking WHY you’re with the company you’re with – making you feel bad for your choice.

And then they ask to see your bill, and they show you how either you’re paying too much, because THEIR company only charges such-and-such, or how YOUR company is in breach of their contract because they’ve increased your rate. You know what champ? F**k off.

Today I got the shits with this bloke. I know it’s not his fault, he’s doing his minimum-wage job. But if I don’t have a go at him, who CAN I have a go at. When I told him I wasn’t interested in Origin, he foolishly asked me “Is there something about Origin that makes you unhappy?”, so I laid it out for him. I told him the thing that makes me unhappy is how they keep coming to my door and giving me the spiel and trying to get me change over.

He was a little taken aback, but I thought “Screw it”. I’ve done nothing wrong, this guy is being the annoying A-hole. So I continued. I told him that I didn’t want Origin coming to my house anymore. He told me he didn’t have a list with him to put my name on, and with great retsraint, I managed not to inform him that this wasn’t my problem. But I knew that saying so wouldn’t achieve anything.

He offered to give me Origin’s phone number so I could call them, but I refused. I honestly didn’t want this bloke handing me anything, because in my petty little mind, that would have meant that he won. So I told him I would find the number or e-mail address and contact them myself. What I expected was “Sorry for bothering you Sir, I’ll be on my way”, but noooooo……

He actually started trying to sell Origin again. I reached for the door, and he finally seemed to realise I was serious. Half way through his spiel, I interjected with “Thanks mate”, stepped back, closed the door a little too hard and locked it behind him.

And here’s another thing…….

Religious people who come to my door. They shit me. Fair enough, they need a good recruiting campaign, I’m not denying that. And if they accepted my first “Sorry mate, not interested”, I probably wouldn’t care too much. But they don’t, do they?

They feel compelled to share their enlightenment with us all, whether we want to hear it or not. In the words of the great Ron White (Texan comedian) “He raped my ear”. Take your little book, and your tales of salvation and go away. Walk the desert. Follow the great star. Whatever.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against religion. I have my own, and we’ll leave it that. But I don’t preach to others. There are literally hundreds of legitimate religions out there: Christianity, Buddhism, Catholicism, Hinduism, Zen, and a whole lot more – including Satanism. Yes, Satanism. It’s a legitimate religion.

BUT, you don’t see these guys and gals knocking on your door on the weekend, telling you how AWESOME Satan is, and how much fun you’ll have if you embrace the Dark Lord. And why do you think that is? Firstly, these guys don’t recruit. They believe that the kind of people who would embrace their religion are the kind of people who can think for themselves. Who look at Christian religion and think “This doesn’t feel right” and go in search of something that does.

And food for thought – what would the public think if their local GP knocked on their door at the weekend and asked them to renounce Jesus and start living a life where you make your own rules?