So first up, I have to ask why you – my readers – have not been posing questions to me? I see the search terms that bring you to my blog, and I know that my posts don’t include the info that people are searching for. So as I always do, I’m going to encourage you to ask me any question about Kapooka if you don’t get the info you need from reading the posts.

Some of the latest search terms I’ve seen relate to swearing at Kapooka, and writing to someone who is at Kapooka. I’ll start with the swearing.

Yes, there is swearing at Kapooka, and you should expect plenty of it. You’ll rarely hear the “C” word, but there;s plenty of f**k’s and shits. And neither I, nor the staff there, will apologise for that. The strange thing is though, that you may even learn new ways to use these swear words.

The Army is a great job, and people join for all sorts of reasons. But let’s get one thing straight right here – the Army is serious shit. If you decide to join up, you should be fully prepared to deploy overseas into a war zone, and you should be fully prepared to be in a situation where you need to pick up a weapon and use it.

And you don’t learn those skills, and the attitude it takes to be able to turn on that aggression, by being treated like a 5 year old. The whole idea of Kapooka is to basically untrain all the “bad”, civilian traits you have, and teach you to be a soldier.

I’m not saying that lightly spoken people with a caring attitude won’t make it, but you need to learn the ability to use “controlled aggression”, and you will learn that at Kapooka. There will be times when you are hungry, cold, tired and physically exhausted, yet you still need to push on for an hour – or another 5km. And you will learn how to do that at Kapooka.

Even though you’re going to be taught a bunch of skills, you’re also going to be taught a series of new attitudes – like thinking of your team before yourself, and how to shut your mouth when you’re being disciplined.

So yes, there’s swearing. It’s not inappropriate (these days!), but you need to get over it and soldier on.

The second issue is writing to people at Kapooka. And you should DEFINITELY do this. At Kapooka, recruits are working VERY long days, and they get very little personal time – similar to being overseas. The biggest morale boost that any recruit can experience is when they get mail. So send letters.

But writing to absent soldiers is a bit of an art. They will know that you are at home, working your butt off at your own job and paying the bills, and cleaning the house, and putting up with your Mother who calls every week to nag you. But honestly, they don’t want to hear about that.

I wanted to join the Army for as long as I can remember, and when I finally joined, I found myself crying myself to sleep on more occasions than I like to admit. It’s bloody tough. So don’t write about how the washing is building up, or that the lawn needs to be mowed. All you’re doing is adding stress to your loved one.

What they want to hear about is how everyone is going. If they’re ok, of course, lol. Tell them how you spoke to so-and-so on the phone about their upcoming holiday, or how your sister came by for coffee on the weekend. Remind your loved one that you miss them and that you think about them often.

Feel free to ask about their day or week. Ask about what food they have been eating. Ask about what they have been doing at PT, or at the range. Everyone’s favourite topice is themselves, so these questions will show that you’re interested in what they’re doing, and give them something to write back about.

And here’s a tip if your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is at Kapooka – send them something cheeky. Be carfeul with sending photos, since I think some of the letters are checked by mail staff. But add a cheeky/sexy/naughty paragraph in your letter about a dream you had, or what you would like to do if they were home.

Maybe write a sexy or romantic poem (trust me, it’s not hard), or depending on your relationship, just write something plain dirty, lol. This stuff cheers up your recruit like you would not believe. It may even give them something nice to think about at night when they’re in bed. And who knows, you might get a VERY interesting reply!!