I’ve been a good boy lately, and tried to focus on some positives, but I need to let off some steam today. And after all, the name of my blog is GRUMPYAussie, isn’t it.

Today’s rant comes to you courtesy of Brisbane’s taxi drivers. In my opinion, half of them should have their f**king licenses taken away, and the other half should be made to get one.

In only the last three days, I have seen shit on Brisbane’s roads that would turn your hair white (if it isn’t already). Sure, there’s the usual crap of taxi’s cutting in and out of traffic without indicating, into gaps about three quarters the length of the vehicle.

Then there was the guy today who was reading a newspaper. Or the Pakistani/Indian bloke yesterday who was incapable of driving in a straight line, crossing the line on both sides of his vehicle. But he was on the phone, so I guess that’s ok. Maybe he was telling his Mum he loved her, or co-ordinating the rescue of a bleeding child – you just never know.

And why is it that they never do the speed you want? If you’re in a hurry, they’re doing 15 kph under the speed limit. If you’re more sensible and prefer the speed limit, they think they’re Juan Fangio (if you don’t know who he is, look him up). I’ve lost count of the amount of taxi’s I’ve been in, where the driver has two speeds: flat out, and stop.

I know you know what I’m talking about. The light goes green, his foot goes flat to the floor, and you take of like you’re in a fighter jet on an aircraft carrier. You go from standstill to flight speed in 2.4 seconds. Naturally, you get to the next intersection just as your neck snaps back into place, he slams on the brakes and 2 nanoseconds before your head hits the seat in front of you, he’s back on the gas trying to set a lap record.

Tell me you’ve never been in a cab with one of these idiots. I DARE you.

I’m just never quite sure how these guys (or girls) get a driver’s license, or a taxi license. It’s obvious some of them haven’t achieved one or both of these milestones. I’d like to see someone do a random check on some of the taxi companies and check whether the drivers are licensed or not.