Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of you using search terms that indicate you’re after more info on what it’s like at Kapooka. It’s also the series of posts that have generated the most comments and questions from my readers. Just keep in mind that if there’s something specific you want to know, leave a comment about it and I’ll provide a response.

You probably need to keep in mind that I went through Kapooka in 1990. I was 17 years old and had spent about three years in the Army Cadets before I joined up. I thought I knew what I was in for, but I got a rude shock. While I’m sure that what you’re about to read is going to be similar to what they do now, the big differences are going to be about how recruits are treated. Things were a bit rough 20+ years ago.

I enlisted in South Australia, so a few days after my enlistment ceremony, we boarded a train and headed off to Melbourne. From there, we boarded a bus and took the very long drive to Kapooka. We arrived at some ridiculously late hour and eventually came to a stop at HQ.

I will never forget that a Corporal (CPL) got on the bus and started yelling at us. And I tell people that the yelling didn’t stop for 12 weeks! That’s obviously not true. It’s not possible to be yelled at for three months. After all, the CPLs have to sleep at some point, don’t they?

From memory, our platoon was finally assembled on a Wednesday or Thursday, which brought “pre week” to a start. For the next few days we were allocated a bedspace, issued with all our kit including uniforms, had our first haircut (a number 1 all over -SEXY!!) and learned the basics of marching around.

And then we started training. Thankfully, my mind has blanked out alot of the detail. I recall a lot of yelling, alot of getting in trouble, and best of all alot of fun. The point of Kapooka is to break your platoon down from being 30-ish individuals and rebuild you up as one, cohesive team.

By the time you leave Kapooka, you start to realise that not everything is about you. ESPECIALLY at Physical Training (PT). I’ve never been an athlete, but when I left Kapooka I was the fittest I’ve ever been. I did a small amount of training before joining, but it wasn’t enough.

They build you up though. They do understand that not everyone has a good level of fitness, but there’s no easy way to GET fit – except to exercise. And geez, do you exercise. We did it EVERY DAY. And none of this half hour session. All of our PT sessions were 80 minutes. Defence loves 40 minute lessons, so everything is either 40 minutes or 80 minutes.

You learn simple stuff like how to run, how to do push ups and sit ups, how to run, how to do chin ups and dips, how to run, how to walk huge distances carrying your pack, how to run, how to climb a rope, how to swim, how to do the obstacle course and then…..how to run.

The worst PT sessions we did was when the PT Instructors (PTIs) would take us for a run through the hills. We would be running along and when we came to a fork in the road, they would askUS which way to go. I’m pretty sure there’s no right answer at all, but those runs were about 10km long.

Naturally, Kapooka isn’t all about getting you fit. You need to learn how to be a soldier. They start by teaching you the basics – and boy, do I mean basics. We got taught how to iron our uniforms, how to make our beds and how to lay out our wardrobes. It takes two people to make a bed the Army way, and if we didn’t get it right, our bed went out the window. And I’m not kidding about that – if you screwed up, you would expect to come back from breakfast and see your mattress, sheets and pillow laying on the ground outside the building.

You also learn how to do drill, how to read a map and navigate with it. You learn how to live in the field, how to do first aid, how to use a radio and some of the “admin” stuff about the Army – like who to salute and who to call Sir. And of course the other thing you learn is weapons.

I use the term “weapons” because we don’t call them guns. A “gun” is what they use in Artillery to really f**k with someone’s day. A handgun is generally called a pistol, while a “long gun” is referred to as a weapon – unless it’s a 7.62mm section weapon, in which case it’s a “machine gun”. Although we do call that a “gun” for short.

The beauty of the Army is that you learn more about weapons than how to shoot. You start with all the theory, known as Characteristics and Tabulated Data. You learn about the weight, size and capability of the weapon before you ever get your hands on it. You then learn how to “clear” a weapon (how to make sure it’s not loaded) and how to handle it safely.

Then you move on to stripping it down and putting it together again (aka “strip and assemble”). You learn how to clean it and how a weapon works. They teach you about rifling and the cycle of operations, where you learn about what happens inside the weapon every time you pull the trigger.

THEN you go through the process of learning how to load the weapon and proceed through the various “degrees of weapon readiness”, eventually unloading again. Once you get all that sorted, you move on to Immediate Actions (IAs). EVERYTHING is abbreviated in Defence, if you haven’t worked that out already.

IAs are the steps you go through when your firing the weapon and it stops. You need to learn to inspect the weapon, diagnose the problem instantly and then resolve it so that you can continue shooting. Most weapons work in a very similar way, so once you learn the basics, it all comes pretty easily.

Once you’ve got ALL of that sorted, you get to go to the range and shoot. So you can see that we’re not taught to be renegades. The training is actually quite strict, and there is NO room for failure. Once you put an automatic weapon in the hands of a 17 year old, you need to be 100% certain they’re not going to kill themselves, or worse – kill someone else. If you get things wrong once you start using live ammo, the CPLs are swift and severe in handing out punishment.

And that’s really about it. The days seem to go forever – starting at 0600h and finishing at 2200h. At various stages through training, you get to sit in the classroom and do some theory lessons, but it’s hard to stay awake. For the first four weeks of my training, we got no spare time at all. Training would finish at around 2130h and then we had 30 minutes to shower, change out of our uniforms and get into bed. If we were quick, we had time to write a letter or chat with our mates, but there wasn’t much time for that.

At the end of the 4th week, we were taken into town (Wagga Wagga) and let loose for a couple of hours. Pretty much everyone aimed straight for some junk food or a beer. Following that trip, we got time off on the weekends (although we weren’t allowed to leave the base) until later in training, when we were given weekend leave unless we screwed up during the week.

At the end of training, you participate in what’s known as a March Out Parade. About 99.4% of your training is complete, and if you’re lucky, everyone who was there at the start will still be there at the end. You will get a great sense of mateship by the time you finish training. You feel like you’ve all been to hell and back together.

Your parents are allowed to come to Kapooka and watch the parade, which is pretty standard as far as military parades go. But you’ll be all dressed up in your ceremonial uniforms and probably carrying weapons. After the parade, the families are taken to the on-base club where there’s a meal of some description. In my day, it was a BBQ, but I have no idea what they do these days.

The recruits go back to their rooms to change out of their uniforms and get a quick “Behave yourselves” speech from the CPLs before being allowed to join your families for some relaxed socialising and a few drinks. In my day, we were also allowed off base that night, so most of us got to go into town with our families for a decent dinner and a few too many drinks.

A few days later, everyone starts to go their separate ways – heading off to their IET courses. Some will stay at Kapooka for a while until their courses start, while other luckier ones might be allowed to go home on leave for a week or so – but only if ther’s a HUGE wait until their IET course starts.

And that’s that. Are there any final questions or doubtful points? That’s a phrase you will get to know all too well once you get there.

And to respond to one recurring search term I see – there is no “not liking Kapooka”. The army is not a TAFE course. If you get there and decide you don’t like it – tough. You will NOT be allowed to leave just because you don’t like it. The only way you leave Kapooka is by completing your training or being so significantly injured that you can’t stay in the Army. So you really need to make sure that this is what you want to do before you leave.